The Effects Of Diabetes On Relationships
Will you leave your SO (significant other) because of diabetes? Committed relationships are hard enough. When you add a chronic illness into the mix of everyday problems, it can place undue stress on a relationship. Do you leave your spouse or partner with diabetes when the going gets tough, or do you stick it out and work together to solve problems that come up, “in sickness and in health?” These are questions you may be asking yourself if you have been going through a tough time in your relationship or marriage due to diabetes. If your partner is in a state of denial and they are refusing to participate in self-care activities or listen to their doctor, this can be quite frustrating. You may be getting burnt out from always trying to fix the right amount of carbohydrates, only to catch your other half in the back room hiding with a box of candy. Feeling like you are the “diabetes police” and always nagging drains the joy out of your relationship. The spouse of a diabetic can feel a loss of control over the future, and be afraid that they will lose their life partner. Conversely, if you are the diabetic in the match, you tend to get quite aggravated with all of the nagging and “sugar-shaming” that can be going on. Maybe your partner didn’t support you by attending diabetes education classes, and now she doesn’t seem to know that it’s ok for you to have an occasional treat. Maybe she doesn’t realize that you are having the extra carbohydrates, but you have a walk planned for after the meal. Sometimes you feel misunderstood. It’s true that diabetes can take a physical, mental and financial toll on a relationship. Remember that your overbearing and controlling partner is acting from a place of genuine caring and concern for you. Now let’s look at t Continue reading >>
My Partner Has Type 1 Diabetes
Diabetes Forum The Global Diabetes Community Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community Hello guys. I'm new on this, so bear with me! So I've recently got with my partner, he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the end of December 2012 (he was seventeen). He's been coping really well with it people tell me, as I've only known him since June 2014. He's nineteen, I'm eighteen. The first date we went on was to a restaurant, and he had to inject. I've known people in my family who have Diabetes, but I'd never seen them inject before. He was quite nervous, he tells me now, about that date, and worried what I'd think about him having to inject. When he told me I was surprised that he was nervous, I mean now it's natural and of course necessary. However, then, this was last July, and now I still feel quite ignorant about Diabetes. I was completely fine with his injecting, but it made me realise I needed to support him more. I know the basics, though I feel I should know more so I can fully support him, you know? I love him so much and I want to be there for him, as he lives on his own, because his Mum died in October 2011 and his Dad is away. He has literally been having to support himself for years. He's been through a lot, and I feel I should learn more about his Diabetes, as it's a big part of his life now. I sometimes, also, forget that he has Diabetes, ah that sounds bad, I don't literally forget, but I forget it can affect his mood, that's what I forget to realise, as he's only just told me it can. He can get headaches and start shaking, and I really do forget that, as when he does get angry or is over sensitive I do the selfish thing and just don't support him through it. Recently, the past couple weeks, he's measured his blood sugar l Continue reading >>
7 Stories On Love, Sex, And Type 1 Diabetes
We’ve assembled our favorite romance-themed stories over the years. People with Type 1 diabetes can have unique love lives. Blood sugar management provides an early opportunity to test how supportive potential partners can be. And if a relationship survives that stress test, it’s up to the person with diabetes and his/her partner to learn how to communicate through all the daily highs and lows. For everyone affected by Type 1 diabetes who has a romantic streak, we’ve assembled our favorite stories on love, sex, dating, and blood sugar management: A Love Letter During a Blood Sugar Swing A man describes the difficulties of communicating with his love during highs and lows. 7 Tips to a Better Type 1 Sex Life Ideas for how to keep your blood sugar numbers level when horizontal. 3 Diabetes Dating Sites – A Review We’ve braved these sites so you don’t necessarily have to. Let’s Talk About Sexual Dysfunction and Type 1 Sexual dysfunction from diabetes often can be reversed if caught in time. 3 Tips for Navigating T1D in Marriage A diabetes psychologist shares his secrets. What it’s Like to Date Someone Else with Type 1 Weighing the pros and cons of having a partner who also lacks a working pancreas. Discovering Love and T1D at a Ballgame When the first bloom of love and the first bloom of diabetes coincide. Thanks for reading this Insulin Nation article. Want more Type 1 news? Subscribe here. Have Type 2 diabetes or know someone who does? Try Type2Nation. Continue reading >>
10 Things We Women With Diabetes Want You To Know
While we're on the topic of women with diabetes this week, who hasn't yet heard of the Girl's Guide to Diabetes? It's a must-visit for all us super-sweet females, run by type 1 sisters Sysy and Ana Morales. Sysy is a great DOC friend, frequent commenter here at the 'Mine, a wife, mother of twin toddlers, diabetes advocate, and a freelance writer. We are delighted to feature her take here today on a girls' view of good diabetes support: A Guest Post by Sysy Morales By having twins as a type 1 diabetic two months before my husband and I even celebrated our first wedding anniversary, I was able to discover early on that I had a guy who would be respectful and loving no matter how tough life got. I am very lucky. This doesn't mean I didn't have to constantly communicate with him about my diabetes, however. I couldn't just expect him to be insightful about my feelings regarding aspects of my diabetes without any explanation.... Why, the man has never even had a headache! Aside from thinking over my own relationship, I've been getting a lot of emails from guys wanting information about "dating a diabetic girl." If you happen to be one of these men, or you're already in a relationship with a woman with diabetes, this post is for you! Ladies, definitely post any additions or different opinions you have in the comments section. We're all unique and I would expect some of this to vary. For the guy in a relationship with a girl who has diabetes, here are 10 things we want you to know: 1. Recognize that your girl might be very emotional about her illness. Sometimes she needs you to listen to her rant. Let her. Most likely she doesn't need you to solve a problem. The thing I loved most about my husband while we dated was his willingness to listen. Now, if you have to force yourself Continue reading >>
Helping A Loved One With Diabetes
Diabetes can be a demanding disease to manage. People who have the condition must constantly watch what they eat, check their blood sugar levels regularly, and take medication to keep those levels steady. If you’re close to someone who has diabetes, there are ways you can help. Learn about the disease. There are lots of myths and wrong ideas about diabetes. For example, it’s not true that a major sweet tooth can lead to the condition, or that it’s unsafe for people who have it to exercise. Learn how diabetes works, how to prevent emergencies or complications, and other information so you can be useful. Maybe ask your loved one if you can tag along to a doctor’s appointment. Make it a team effort. A diabetes diagnosis is a chance for the whole household to start some healthy habits. Get everyone to get onboard with nutritious meals, quitting smoking, and staying active. Know when to step back. Remember that the person who has diabetes is responsible for managing it, not you. Don’t second-guess the care plan or try to police meals or snacks. Living with diabetes is hard work, and encouragement and support are better than unwanted advice or, worse, scolding. Help ease stress. Too much stress can raise blood sugar levels and make it harder to control diabetes. But managing the condition can be stressful. Encourage your loved one to talk about feelings and frustrations. Try things together like meditating, walking, gardening, or watching a funny movie. Expect mood swings. Swings in blood sugar can make someone jittery, confused, anxious, or irritable. Better blood sugar control can help avoid these ups and downs. Offer emotional support, and encourage your loved one to join a support group or talk about professional counseling if you think that might help. Talk ope Continue reading >>
My New Boyfriend Sufferers From Type 1 Diabetes, What Do I Need To Know?
Guest over a year ago Hi, my boyfriend of 9 months has type 1 diabetes as well. I know a little about it, but mostly I just feel in the dark about his medical life. I would also like to learn more about it, because I know it is a part of his life, and he is a part of my life. I feel like it would be a burden to ask him, but I would like to have just as much of an understanding of it as he does, so I can really understand how it impacts his life. I know that diabetics can have seizures if they get too low, and that if they do have a seizure, you should put sugar or icing on their gums, as it is the fastest way for their bodies to absorb sugar. If you are dating a diabetic, you should probably know this, in case you are alone together, and something happens. I was wondering if something that happens to my boyfriend is normal...when he gets low, he loses all of his sex drive. is this normal for diabetics? to be a little more informative: they have to inject with insulin when theyre blood sugar is too high. it helps break down the glucose. when the blood sugar is low, they need to eat. my boyfriend suffers from type 1 diabetes as well. usually i carry a bag or 2 of skittles in case he gets low. thats what he likes. starbursts work well too. try to stay away from chocolate. although it has sugar, it has fat which consumes the sugar so it doesnt work as well. i usually try to be a little pushy with him checking his sugar with a meter. i dont know how much you know about it, but the meter is the little thing that records and tells you how high your sugar is. theyre supposed to check pretty often and my boyfriends in the stage where he likes to ignore that he has it. and he gets very upset and angry when hes low or high (referring to sugar) so i know it annoys him, but its for Continue reading >>
How Type 2 Diabetes Affects Relationships
Having type 2 diabetes changes your life and can certainly affect relationships, whether you’re dating or married. Diabetes management requires a lot of your attention and focus, which may be hard for a partner unfamiliar with the disease to understand. You have to carefully monitor what you eat and check your blood sugar frequently throughout the day. And if you're not always so careful about managing your diabetes, your partner may also be affected. A recent study of people whose partners had type 2 diabetes found that those who tried to exert control over their partners' dietary behavior felt particularly stressed and burdened. Finally, if you get sick and need help, your diabetes care may fall to your partner. Diabetes: The Physical and Emotional Impact People diagnosed with type 2 diabetes may experience a wide range of emotions, including: Fear Anger Depression Denial Guilt Not only is the emotional aspect of diabetes a real rollercoaster, but there is also a physical impact on sexual function. The emotional strain of dealing with diabetes can cause stress and anxiety, as well as communication difficulties that can lead to sexual dysfunction in relationships. Diabetes: Dating With Diabetes Even if you're not currently in a long-term relationship, diabetes can have an impact on your dating life. Ronda Keys, 37, an event planner from Maryland, was first diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 18. She didn't know anyone else her age with the disease, so she tried to downplay its seriousness to her friends, her boyfriend, and even herself. Keys, who is single, didn't want her boyfriend or friends to feel that they had to stop what they were doing or make accommodations for her diabetes, so she just didn't tell many people. "I had to try to figure out how to still live Continue reading >>
Should I Leave My Boyfriend If He Is Diagnosed With Diabetes?
TLDR: losing you AND his health will probably gut him, emotionally. But there is no shame in admitting you aren't capable of supporting him. if that is the case, then please let him go so he can find other support. I was diagnosed at 22. Diabetes sucks, but it's definitely not the end of the world. It will be very hard the first year, as your boyfriend figures out his limitations or lack of limitations. Some people have mentioned personality changes or decreased libido - those are side effects that occur when you don't take care of yourself and you let your glucose run too high. If you maintain a healthy blood glucose level, than you won't have those problems. Your boyfriend will come to realize that his condition, if properly maintained, will not limit his life much… Within reason. He can eat cake again… but he will need to bolus insulin for it first. He can exercise or play sports again… but he will need to pack extra carbs snacks in his bag and check his blood sugar regularly to ensure he doesn't have a bad low. He will never be able to walk around or run an errand with only a wallet and his keys. He will also need to carry his pens or his pump PDM, emergency sugar, and a card or bracelet that indicates his condition. These things will all become routine. You will barely think about them. Regarding your relationship, and speaking as a Diabetic, I urge you: if you consider diabetes to be a legitimate impediment to your love, then please break up with him. Diabetes isn't cancer. There is no cure. There is only management. It will never go away. Even at the height of your boyfriend’s capability, he will have moments where he remembers that he will never be healthy again and he will desperately need someone to tell him that they love him and will support him. If Continue reading >>
Sex, Intimacy, And Diabetes
I’ve got a whole new career! What a surprise! I never expected to be a sex educator. My partner and I are giving workshops on Sex and Intimacy in Chronic Illness and Disability. We’ve given some for the Multiple Sclerosis Society and some in the community for people with illness, psychotherapists, ministers, and sex educators. How did this happen? I was a health educator, nurse, and author writing about self-care and the social causes of illness. I really didn’t think much about sex, except as it related to health. Strangely, I started getting interested in sex education when I lost interest in sex. My partner and I have been married for over 30 years, and sex had been our main way of connecting. We didn’t communicate very well; we just smoothed differences over with sex. Two or three years ago, I lost most of my ability to have erections. Partly this was due to my multiple sclerosis, and partly because of problems in our relationship, I think. I tried some other ways to be sexual, but mostly I withdrew into working more. Our relationship became more distant; we were more like roommates than we were a couple in love. It got to the point where my partner started looking for sex in other places. She wasn’t sneaking around or having an affair. She was honest with me and told me everything she was doing. We started communicating better about sex, and this helped us communicate about other things. I felt a great weight had been lifted from me, because I didn’t have to try to satisfy her when I thought I couldn’t. I was liberated to try some new things. I discovered that I could give her better orgasms with my hands than I ever could, or than anybody else had, with regular intercourse. We got very creative with the use of hands and with help from other body part Continue reading >>
Dating & Diabetes: 10 Things You Need To Know
You’re out on a first date. You are kinda digging this person. You’ve had a great time together. But, instead of wondering whether to lean in for the goodnight kiss, hug, or the awkward pat on the back, you’re busy thinking about when and how you should disclose that you have diabetes. Or, maybe you are just wondering if you should do it at all. Or maybe your sugar is low and you have no choice but to explain why you sound like you are not making any sense. But, you hesitate. You wouldn’t want to scare off your new potential life partner, would you? Diabetes is 24/7. As much as it would be lovely to take some time off for date night, it isn’t going to happen. It is the annoying third wheel. Get used to it. Diabetes isn’t WHO you are, but it sure as heck is a decent sized chunk of you, and it should never be a taboo topic. The more uncomfortable you are with your diabetes, the more uncomfortable your date will be with it. Asking questions like, “Is this too weird for you?” or better yet, “Can you handle dating someone with a disease?” is not going to put anyone at ease. Anyone stressing about disclosing his or her diabetes, take heart – although there is no set rule book for sharing your diabetic life for the first time with a potential love connection, there are some tips you can follow to ensure a smooth transition from “It’s a pleasure to meet you” to “I have diabetes.” Here are 10’s DO’s for Diabetic Dating: Don’t feel like you have to tell your date at a certain time or after a certain number of dates. Instead, tell him or her when it feels right. That means you don’t need to reveal it during introductions or even on your first date, but the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. The biggest concern most people with diabetes Continue reading >>
What To Expect When Dating A Person With Type 1 Diabetes
Type 1 diabetes is an illness which is not easy to manage and it influences practically everything in life. When someone starts dating a person with type 1 diabetes, there might be some things that are good to know. Firstly, you should know the basics of type 1 diabetes. The internet has tons of very good information available. Here is a nice fact sheet about type 1 diabetes from Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). The symptoms of hypos and hypers differ amongst diabetics Now that you know the cold facts, you should know that every person with type 1 diabetes is unique. Exercise raises someone’s BG levels, whereas others have to drink sugary drinks to avoid going low. Different diabetics experience low or high blood glucose levels differently. One might get angry or anxious when approaching a low BG, whereas some just go pale and shaky. It gets worse at the grocery store if one has a hypo standing in line with a chocolate bar in hand. They would just want to pay for the candy bar so they can eat it but the queue just won’t MOVE! That for e.g. is when I feel a bit aggressive but I have learned to just eat the candy bar while standing there and pay for the wrap. Eventually you’ll probably learn to see when your significant other is acting “like in a hypo”. However, you might want to avoid suggesting a blood glucose measurement. Nothing feels as frustrating when someone invalidates a type 1 diabetic’s negative emotions by suggesting ”It’s only your diabetes doing its tricks”. I would think it is something like telling an angry woman “it’s just your hormones talking”. Tread carefully here. At high BG levels the most common symptoms are fatigue and frequent need for urination, but there are differences here too. For the first few years since Continue reading >>
The Boyfriend/girlfriend Guide To Caring For Someone With Type 1
Congratulations! You’re dating someone amazing, funny, beautiful and strong, who also has Type 1. If you are feeling overwhelmed or worried, there is no need. Here are tips that can help you take care of your significant other and the essentials in diabetes care that are a must-know! Insulin! Our bodies do not make insulin. We need insulin to process food that we are eating. Therefore, we can use either the pump or injections via a pen and a needle to administer the insulin. Learn more about insulin delivery methods. Devices The monitors that are attached to our skin are not a smoking patch, a pager, or a prop! These monitors help us stay healthy. One of these monitors is a CGM, or continuous glucose monitor. This small device tracks our glucose day and night, and notifies us of highs and lows. The other monitor is an insulin pump. An insulin pump gives our body insulin throughout the day and during meals through the flexible plastic tube. Extra baggage And we aren’t talking about exes! We will usually always carry a few items with us wherever we go. These things help us get through the day healthy and safe. Here are a few things you can familiarize yourself with. Blood glucose meter, test strips, and a lancing device. In other words, the small device that shows us what our blood sugar is, the test strip that goes into the device, and the pricker that we use on our finger to get a drop of blood onto the test strip. Check out The Daily-diabetes Care Kit. Fast-acting sugar that we will take in case we have a low. This could be anything from glucose tablets (which strongly resemble SweetTarts), candy, or juice boxes. Depending on the type of bionic pancreas that we have, we either carry pens and pen needles or supplies for a pump. Daily care We might have to check our Continue reading >>
Dealing With Side Effects Of Diabetic Partner
Hi, I am quite concerned about my boyfriend's health. He has diabetes Type 1. I was not really worried about his illness when we first started dating, because he seemed to have it under control and I know that people with diabetes can have a long and healthy life, if they take good care of themselves. However, things look a bit different in our relationship these days. We recently moved to a different city, so that he could pursue the career he wanted. Ever since we moved, he has completely stopped taking care of himself. He still eats somewhat healthy and takes his meds of course, but he has completely stopped going to the gym. We had numerous fights about him joining the gym in the last couple of months. He is fighting 100% against me, saying that he does not have time to go work out anymore, because he has too much work and has to focus on his studies. He won't even go jogging anymore. I even offered to pay for the gym membership and go work out together to motivate him. He refused the offer. Our whole relationship started going downhill because of all the arguments, and as a result I gave up on trying to convince him to stay healthy. I know that stress makes it worst for his blood level, so that's another reason I stopped arguing about it. He recently did some blood work tests at the doctor. His results came out highly negative. He is worried about the results and so am I. Ever since he stopped working out, the side effects of his illness got much worse. He has really intense mood swings. I try to deal with them as much as I can, but he is randomely either very happy or very upset. I ask him what's wrong? And there are no real reasons why he randomely gets really mad at me for something insignificant I did. I really try to be as supportive and as patient as I can. A Continue reading >>
When To Tell Your Valentine About Your Diabetes
It’s one thing to be open with family and friends about diabetes and the impact it has on your life, but what happens when you start dating someone? Many people wonder when is the right time to share with a significant (or potentially significant) other about life with diabetes. In honor of Valentine’s Day we reached out to a few friends to hear what they had to say. Check out their answers below and share your opinion in the comments. Happy Valentine’s Day! “When dating, I think it’s important to be immediately upfront about diabetes. As soon as someone knows my name and they spend any time with me, they find out about my passion for health, for diabetes empowerment and for physical fitness. I want anyone I date to hear it from me that I live a full and happy life even with or maybe because of diabetes.” – Mari Ruddy, age 47 (Today!), Single, 31 years with diabetes (I wear a Medtronic pump and CGM!) Editor’s Note: Happy Birthday Mari! “Over all, I do think earlier is better, just for safety sake. It’s always good if the people you are spending time with know you have diabetes in case you need help with a bad low or another emergency situation. That said, I don’t think diabetes is necessarily something you have to make a huge issue out of. I’d say look for a time when it seems natural to bring it up, such as before a meal when you need to test and take your insulin. You can simply explain what your meter is and what you’re doing, and see where the conversation goes from there. When I first started dating my husband, I was a completely different person than I am today where diabetes is concerned. I wasn’t an advocate, I didn’t like anyone to know I had diabetes, I wasn’t on an insulin pump or CGM, and I did as little as possible to manage Continue reading >>
Love In The Time Of Diabetes
Dating is tricky. Dating with diabetes is trickier. I hate dating. Okay, let me back up. I love dating. I love getting dressed up, I love the nerves of waiting for my date to show up, I love all that. But relationships have always been a problem for me because I’m a diabetic. Okay, let me back up. It’s not just because I’m diabetic, but I might as well blame it on something, right? Besides, being T1 adds a layer of awkwardness to a process that already seems laden with enough awkwardness landmines. The only reason my first boyfriend in college knew I was diabetic was because he saw my pump. In fact, I didn’t even tell him; my roommate did (Thanks, roomie!). Everyone has things that they don’t necessarily want to tell on the first date; sometimes you need to get comfortable with a person before you want to tell something so personal. You don’t want to tell them at the beginning, but if you wait too long, it only makes things worse. You try to wait for the right moment, but, alas, there’s no such thing. But here’s the thing….people already have to deal with so many other quirky parts of me. I laugh at everything, I work ridiculous hours, and I am a smidge high-maintenance. Being diabetic isn’t a personality trait or anything that I can even control, but it’s still a big part of my life, and if a guy becomes a big part of my life, then it becomes a part of his life, too. I feel as though I’m asking him to take on more than what he signed up for. I hear unconfirmed rumors that a healthy romantic relationship can actually make having diabetes easier. One of my friends with diabetes has been dating a guy for 2 years who knows she’s a diabetic. She told me that of all the people in her life, there are only 2 people who she can stand getting on her cas Continue reading >>
