Loving Someone With Type 1 Diabetes

What To Expect When Dating A Person With Type 1 Diabetes

Type 1 diabetes is an illness which is not easy to manage and it influences practically everything in life. When someone starts dating a person with type 1 diabetes, there might be some things that are good to know. Firstly, you should know the basics of type 1 diabetes. The internet has tons of very good information available. Here is a nice fact sheet about type 1 diabetes from Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). The symptoms of hypos and hypers differ amongst diabetics Now that you know the cold facts, you should know that every person with type 1 diabetes is unique. Exercise raises someone’s BG levels, whereas others have to drink sugary drinks to avoid going low. Different diabetics experience low or high blood glucose levels differently. One might get angry or anxious when approaching a low BG, whereas some just go pale and shaky. It gets worse at the grocery store if one has a hypo standing in line with a chocolate bar in hand. They would just want to pay for the candy bar so they can eat it but the queue just won’t MOVE! That for e.g. is when I feel a bit aggressive but I have learned to just eat the candy bar while standing there and pay for the wrap. Eventually you’ll probably learn to see when your significant other is acting “like in a hypo”. However, you might want to avoid suggesting a blood glucose measurement. Nothing feels as frustrating when someone invalidates a type 1 diabetic’s negative emotions by suggesting ”It’s only your diabetes doing its tricks”. I would think it is something like telling an angry woman “it’s just your hormones talking”. Tread carefully here. At high BG levels the most common symptoms are fatigue and frequent need for urination, but there are differences here too. For the first few years since Continue reading >>

My Friend Has Diabetes. How Can I Help?

What's My Friend Going Through? Diabetes. Sure, you've heard of it. But how much do you really know about what it's like to live with it? Teens with diabetes often say they feel isolated and alone. After all, it's hard enough being a teenager with all the body changes and hormone surges — dealing day-to-day with a health problem like diabetes can only make things harder. Having to test your blood sugar several times a day, keep tabs on what you eat, and give yourself insulin shots or other medicine is enough to make anyone feel self-conscious and different. As a result, some people may want to pretend that their diabetes doesn't exist. That's not a good plan, because it usually leads to poorly controlled diabetes. And that can be dangerous to your friend's health. As a friend, your understanding and acceptance are very important. The more you know about diabetes, the less self-conscious and alone your friend is likely to feel. And that's good for anyone's health! What Is Diabetes? Diabetes is a disease that affects how the body uses glucose. When you eat, glucose from the food gets into your bloodstream. Then, the pancreas makes a hormone called insulin that helps the glucose in the blood get into the body's cells, where it's used as fuel. When people get diabetes, the glucose in their blood doesn't get into the cells as well as it should, so it stays in the blood instead. This makes blood sugar levels get too high and can lead to symptoms like getting very thirsty or peeing a lot. Proper treatment of diabetes helps to control these symptoms. It also can help prevent long-term effects — like kidney, eye, nerve, or heart problems — that can happen in people who have high blood sugar levels for many years. The two main types of diabetes that can occur during childho Continue reading >>

Partner Perspectives On Life With A Person With Type 1 Diabetes

L. Nicole Johnson, Dr.PH., M.P.H., M.A., Stephanie T. Melton, M.A., M.P.H. Type 1 diabetes affects all aspects of life for both the person with the disease and their loved ones. For partners, negotiating the caregiving role can be challenging. Objective: Partners of people with type 1 diabetes are positioned to provide crucial support for their significant other, but they may struggle with the caregiving role. The purpose of this study was to determine the challenges and needs of these partners. Research Design and Methods: In this qualitative study, in-depth interviews were conducted with 19 partners of people with type 1 diabetes. A semi-structured interview guide was used during the interviews. Thematic analysis was conducted using qualitative data management and analysis software. Results: The analysis of the interviews revealed that partners face numerous challenges in the caregiving of their partner. Partners reported struggling with: (1) emotional strain from fear and distress over diabetes symptoms and complications that results in caregiver burden; (2) determining how to avoid relationship conflict; and (3) knowing how to provide life sustaining care during diabetes medical emergencies. Conclusion: Partners of people with diabetes would benefit from diabetes education targeting emergency care and the psychosocial impacts of diabetes. This additional education could potentially ease the emotional strains of caregiving. Introduction Living with a disease like type 1 diabetes (T1D) can be challenging. Diabetes is a chronic, life threatening condition in which individuals experience impaired pancreatic functioning. Type 1 diabetes is generally diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, but it can also develop during adulthood. It is estimated that approximately 3 milli Continue reading >>

Making Peace With It All: A Love Letter To My T1d Husband

I didn’t sleep well the night before I was supposed to join my husband at a gathering for Type 1 Diabetic athletes — the first of its kind. A plan had been made weeks before, but here it was the morning of the event, and I started the usual debate that goes on when my insomnia shows up the night before — whether or not to participate in things, in life. I could have very easily declared I needed to stay home because I’d only slept a couple of hours. He would have agreed to it. I would have told him I was sorry, he would have soothed me, and he would have gone solo. But instead, I played an internal game of ping-pong up for a while. I didn’t directly say anything to him — just quietly debated whether or not to go. Something about him was different on this morning, though. His usual middle of the road, relaxed demeanor was absent. He was clearly looking forward to the event, even seemed a little nervous. Almost like the anticipation one feels before a first date. Seeing that resolved the debate for me. I decided to put on my big girl pants, have a second cup of coffee, and get ready to join him as I’d said I would. I thought too much about what to wear — wondered how I could fit in with a group whose interests vastly differ from my own. I have little personal interest in Crossfit or Olympic weightlifting — my interest only extends so far as that they are what the man I love, loves. I’m present and show genuine interest when he shares his personal bests with me or the next personal best he’s working towards, etc. But my interest is always in him, not the activity itself. Should I wear my hair up or down? Make-up or no make-up? Work out clothes or regular clothes? I was planning to leave after the speakers, so what I wore really had no practical implic Continue reading >>

A T1d Love Story

WRITTEN BY: Samantha Willner I’ll never forget the moment Ryan tested my blood sugar for the first time. It was early in our relationship; early enough that my stomach still did backflips whenever he called or texted; so early that I still checked my teeth for food any time he left the room. In fact, our relationship was new enough that — had he been anyone else — I would not have yet shared the news that I have Type 1 diabetes. The first time happened unexpectedly. It was a dreary Sunday evening, and we were curled on my couch watching a movie, though neither of us was truly paying attention. Instead, we were monitoring every movement, breath, and word; exhilarated to be dating someone new, yet terrified our next bad joke or poorly-timed sneeze might mess the whole thing up. As I risked a shift in positioning, Ryan slipped his hand softly into my own, cradling it affectionately as I adjusted the blankets. Of course, we both pretended the moment was benign, though my racing heart was eager to give me away. Filled with adrenaline, I dared a glance in his direction. His features were still so new to me that, with each date, I noted with interest a quality I had not yet discovered. For example, the way he smiled from the right side of his mouth, his perfect cupid’s bow, or the way his eyes could go from deep brown to striking chartreuse in the sunlight. As I secretly studied him, I could not help but wonder if we were perhaps — just maybe — falling in love. As if roused by the L-word, the steady drum in my chest was joined by a fervent pulse in my wrists. I adjusted my hand, worried that Ryan could feel the thumping through our entwined fingers, only to realize my palms were slightly damp. In response, Ryan turned and locked his perpetually smiling eyes into mi Continue reading >>

Personal And Relationship Challenges Of Adults With Type 1 Diabetes

Go to: Abstract Little is known about the psychosocial challenges of adults living with type 1 diabetes or its impact on partner relationships. This qualitative study was undertaken to gain better understanding of these issues. Four focus groups were held, two with adult type 1 diabetic patients (n = 16) and two with partners (n = 14). Two broad questions were posed: “What are the emotional and interpersonal challenges you have experienced because you have (your partner has) type 1 diabetes?” and “How does the fact that you have (your partner has) type 1 diabetes affect your relationship with your partner, positively and/or negatively?” Sessions were recorded and transcribed, and analyzed by a team of four researchers, using constant comparative methods to identify core domains and concepts. Four main domains were identified: 1) impact of diabetes on the relationship, including level of partner involvement, emotional impact of diabetes on the relationship, and concerns about child-rearing; 2) understanding the impact of hypoglycemia; 3) stress of potential complications; and 4) benefits of technology. Themes suggest that, although partner involvement varies (very little to significant), there exists significant anxiety about hypoglycemia and future complications and sources of conflict that may increase relationship stress. Partner support is highly valued, and technology has a positive influence. Adults with type 1 diabetes face unique emotional and interpersonal challenges. Future research should focus on gaining a better understanding of how they cope and the effect of psychosocial stressors and coping on adherence, quality of life, and glycemic control. Continue reading >>

The Delicate Balance: Being A Spouse Of A Person With Type 1 Diabetes

Listen, I'm as private about my sex life as the next person... it's taken me a long time to blog about it because it's something I don't feel needs to be shared widely on a regular basis! However, lately I've realized that there just isn't enough out there that speaks to some of the challenges that we (those of us who love someone with type 1) have in this arena. It's like people just don't want to talk about it. So, let's talk about sex. First of all, let me preface this by saying that my husband and I have been together a looonnngg time - 25 years in fact (married for 19). And you expect there to be ups and down, peaks and valleys when it comes to our sex life. Lucky for us, we haven't experienced many valleys, and have been able to maintain a really healthy, active sexual relationship. There are a few things though, that diabetes loves to throw in the mix ... and I thought it worthwhile to share one of these with you. Lows during sex The first few times it happened I thought it was just a coincidence ... but when the lows - and I mean significant lows, the 48s, 35s and lower - started happening fairly often during sex, I started to take note. There is nothing that kills the mood more than discovering that your partner is not all "there" while you're making love, and honestly, as a woman this can be a little frightening. I'm lucky in that my husband hasn't been in any way aggressive or belligerent during these lows, just somewhat silly and sometimes truly out of it. But it is hard to discover that in such an intimate moment, you're suddenly the only recognizable one present. It's an awful feeling. Then of course there is just the break in momentum, even for more mild lows, to treat the issue, get the juice, etc. Takes the wind out of everyone's sails, and it is highly Continue reading >>

What Is Type 1 Diabetes? Educating The Masses

There is a common theme in what people think causes diabetes…sugar. I'd like to clear up that little misconception- Diabetes has nothing to do with sugar. The question that many never seem to know the answer to….What is type 1 diabetes? Let’s start with a few questions and statements I constantly receive…. Did you eat too much sugar as a child? You can’t eat sweets and cake? Oh, so you just have to inject insulin once a day? Why don’t you just stop eating sugar and you won’t have it anymore? Lets start by clearing the air ... What is type 1 diabetes exactly? Type 1 diabetes is an incurable, auto-immune disease that is not a choice, you do nothing to cause it and you can do nothing to prevent it, which then makes it offensive when people make the sugar comments! It affects about 10% of the diabetic population as a whole and is more commonly found in people aged below 40. Type 1 diabetics can eat whatever they like as long as they can carbohydrate count, and being on an insulin pump can also increase your flexibly with food, but remember, no two diabetics are the same, so what one may eat, another may not- just like a normal person! What causes type 1 diabetes? There is no current known cause for Type 1 diabetes- it is an auto immune disease which causes your immune system to attack the cells in your pancreas and therefore your pancreas is no longer able to produce insulin. It is not caused by poor diet or an unhealthy lifestyle and there is nothing you could have done to prevent type 1 diabetes. There is little to no correlation between type 1 diabetes and parents, meaning it’s not hereditary in almost 90% of cases. I want to quickly clear up the difference between diabetes type 1 and type 2 ... What is the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes? T Continue reading >>

Diabetes & Dating: To Date Or Not To Date

A question we get asked all the time: Should I date someone if I have diabetes? or Should I date someone who has diabetes? Take a look at these Diabetes & Relationship stats: Relationships are tough in this day and age. With approximately 60 percent of all marriages ending in divorce, does diabetes stack the deck against you in a committed, long-term relationship? When Dennis contacted The Diabetes Council last week, he was concerned that dating Susan with Type 1 diabetes may not a good idea. He didn’t know if he could handle her having a low blood sugar during their time together, and he worried that his own fear of needles would make him too squeamish to deal with the day-to-day aspects of diabetes care. Dennis and Susan have only been out on three dates. Dennis enjoyed his time with Susan, and wanted to see if they could have a future together. However, it was at the end of the third date when Susan informed Dennis about her diabetes. Dennis had been at a loss for words since finding out about Susan’s diagnosis. He was ashamed to say that he had not called her in three days. So what kind of advice should we give Dennis? Although we may not be in the position to give him an answer as to whether or not he should date Susan, what kind of relationship advice might be helpful in this situation? For starters, if Dennis wants to pursue a future relationship with Susan, he should ask himself just how much he cares about her, and whether or not he thinks that he is capable of supporting someone with diabetes through the long haul of life. If the answer is yes, then a diagnosis of diabetes should not preclude Dennis from pursuing a relationship with Susan. If the answer is no, then Susan is better off without Dennis. As a person with diabetes, Susan will need someone who i Continue reading >>

Three Simple Rules For Loving A Diabetic

We humans are born to love and be loved. But being a loving and supportive friend, partner or family member can be a struggle even under the best of circumstances. Adding a side of diabetes to the mix can create unique challenges to our relationships (and our sanity). Diabetes often threatens the diabetic’s sense of balance and serenity. But it doesn’t stop there. Family, friends and partners are also affected. Meeting the needs of our loved ones while managing our stress and maintaining a strong sense of self is key. Knowing how to get there is the hard part. Whether you’re loved is newly diagnosed or is a diabetes veteran like me (22 years this Easter), implementing my three simple rules for loving a diabetic is bound to change things for the better. I recommend giving yourself at least a solid three weeks for the cumulative effects to shine. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll slip up more than you succeed, especially in the beginning. But if you make the commitment to consistently implement these rules (which are really suggestions), I guarantee you’ll be happily surprised by the results. So, in no particular order, here are Amylia’s Three Simple Rules for Loving a Diabetic: Be an Extreme Encourager Cultivate Empathy Detach with Love Learning how to best meet the needs of your loved ones (whether diabetic or not) and still keep your sanity and wits about you is not a one-time-only event. We humans learn by trial and error. We get it eventually. But quick-fixes rarely last. Be patient as you try these three rules. I guarantee they’ll make the journey to greater health in your relationships–and yourself–more enjoyable. 1. .) Be an Extreme Encourager This one rule alone can change your relationships, and your life. Here’s the thing: no one is h Continue reading >>

I Love Someone With Diabetes: Sara White

Diabetes affects the whole family, whether you’re a parent, sibling, child, grandchild or spouse. This week on the blog, we’ll be featuring stories about loving and caring for someone with diabetes. Name: Sara White Location: Manchester, Conn. I love everyone with diabetes! And that includes myself. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 24 (I am 28 now). I have no family history of type 1, and I have only one friend with this chronic disease. My diabetes journey has not been easy. I started with injections, and after a year and a half I decided to get an insulin pump. This switch helped me gain better control. I’m also not as self-conscious about giving myself insulin in social situations—I used to dread that every time I would go out! For the past five years I have worked as a CNA (certified nursing assistant). I am currently attending a nursing program to become a diabetes educator. I work with my patients in their homes, as well as in long-term care and hospital settings. When I share with my patients that I too live with diabetes, I often hear that they don’t have enough of the resources they need. They are not educated about how important it is to control their blood glucose levels, whether it be through diet, exercise or medication. That’s where I come in! I try to make diabetes education fun for my patients. They need concepts and instructions that are easy to grasp, and they need encouragement. It takes patience to be in control of this disease. I always remind them it is a 24-hour lifestyle. We don’t get any breaks in life. If we want to relax or have a cheat day, we have to think about how it’s going to affect us in the long run. If we get sick, we need to think about what our blood glucose will do. How do you maintain good control when m Continue reading >>

The Dos And Don’ts Of Supporting Someone With Diabetes

This story was originally posted on April 13, 2015. Living with diabetes can be hard. Really hard. The constant blood monitoring, thinking about every morsel of food you put in your mouth, trying to avoid scary, life threatening complications. The stress can be exhausting. Then, just as you’re having an amazing day—your blood sugars have been nice and steady, you did an awesome job at work, you ate a super heathy lunch—you have to explain yourself. Someone sees your pump. You excuse yourself to bolus and someone spots a needle. You refuse the sugar-laden donuts in the break room. And you have to say it. “I have diabetes.” Cue the insensitive responses: “Do you have type 2 or the bad kind?” “It’ll go away if you just lose the weight.” “So does that mean you can’t eat cake?” “Diabetes isn’t that hard, you just have to be on a special diet, right?” “Your diabetes must be getting worse because you take insulin.” “You brought this on yourself.” “Since you take insulin, does that mean you’re type 1?” “You’re not fat, you can’t have diabetes.” And the best of all… “But you don’t look sick.” You wince. Perhaps you’ve heard it before, or maybe this is a new, creative dig at your illness. In a perfect world everyone would be educated about diabetes, but right now that just isn’t the case. Too many stereotypes and myths exist today that perpetuate misconceptions about both type 1 and type 2 diabetes. John Zrebiec, L.I.C.S.W., Chief of the Behavioral Health Unit at Joslin Diabetes Center, is no stranger to oblivious or downright rude comments aimed at those with diabetes. He suggests that if someone says something insensitive or just plain wrong to you, take the high road. Educate them on what it’s really like to l Continue reading >>

Diabetes And Relationships: My Man, His Insulin Pen, And I

I remember our first date. He showed up at my place clutching a bag of pretzels and a 2 liter bottle of Coke Light. “Coke Light?” I thought to myself – now here’s a man after my own heart! We settled on the sofa to watch one of two movies – his favourite (Old School) and my favourite (Kill Bill), munching and sipping away at the sugar-free drink. There was chemistry, that’s for sure. I remember focusing more on the proximity of his body to mine than on the scenes playing off on the box in front of us! Between movies we decided to head across the road for a pizza and a glass of wine. And it was during this break in our movie date that he made the disclosure, “I have Type 1 diabetes.” I can’t really say that my world stopped or that my dreams caved in. Growing up one of my good friends lived with Type 1 and, while I can’t say that I knew much about it, I had the basic information and knew that it was definitely no death sentence. Also, he was so casual about it, explaining as he administered his insulin shot at the table why he had to take insulin, how it brought down his blood glucose levels and giving me the background. My heart ached for the three-year-old version of himself that received this diagnosis. But at this point, my 25-year old date was cool, calm, and collected about his ‘condition’. We went back to my place, watched the second movie and he kissed me goodbye at the door on his way home. My knees were wobbly. Fast forward a couple of dates and I had my first real diabetes-related worry. Wrapped in the throes of early romance my man was perfect – in every imaginable way. (He still is, but eight years later it’s a different kind of adoration – you know what I mean!). We were hanging out somewhere when I all of a sudden realised tha Continue reading >>

When You Love A Woman With Type 1 Diabetes

I know a lot of women with Type 1 diabetes. Some are friends, colleagues, peers and some are women, young and old, whose paths have crossed with mine at different times for different reasons. And even though each and every one of us are different in the way we view, experience and react to our Type 1 diabetes, I typically find that, when we first discover we are both meandering the snaking female Type 1 diabetes footpath, there is a collective knowing, a camaraderie that instantly bonds our lives in an inquisitive way. Often, we will immediately begin to chat like old friends and many times, we will openly begin to share intimate details with each other. We talk about the effect of our diabetes on our careers, our health, our loved ones, spouses, families and friends. For me, it’s emotionally comforting to connect with someone who really and truly gets what I’m going through. Trust me when I say that the emotional side of diabetes is a huge piece of the puzzle and if it is not taken into consideration, it can unravel all well laid diabetes plans. So if you love a woman with Type 1diabetes, maybe this blog will give you a little something to consider. Or maybe you already know everything. That being said…. Women With Type 1 Diabetes and Sexual Intimacy Ever try to enjoy sex with Type 1 diabetes while worrying about your blood sugar dropping or soaring? How about having your medical devices front and center on your body? And because of the cost, and inconvenience I might add, of a device being knocked off, I always have to consider where my devices are on my body to help avoid that scenario. And even after marriage to a man who says he doesn’t care about my devices, the thought that I will look “medicinal” to him creates vulnerability in me that I don’t like Continue reading >>

Living With Type 1 Diabetes - A Spouse's Point Of View

It's 3 AM and I can't sleep thanks to the adrenaline that woke me up out of a dead sleep when my husband bumped into me while seizing in bed. He starts seizing when his blood sugar hits 20. Do you know what normal blood sugar is? It's 90-120. There are two things that feed brain cells. Oxygen and sugar. Both are necessary. He was almost out of one of them. Did you know there's a difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes? All we ever hear about is type 2. That's the one that old, unhealthy, overweight people get. Do you know who gets type 1? Kids. And nobody knows why the white blood cells attack and kill the pancreas in some kids. And nobody has a cure for it. Sure, there's a semblance of maintenance. But there's no cure. Did you know that low blood sugar affects the same portion of the brain as alcohol does? A person who is low will act as if they're drunk. Did you know that keeping your blood sugar abnormally high will make you lose weight really fast? Did you know it will also build up a store of sugar in your liver so your body can try to save itself when you go too low and don't have someone around to give you sugar? Did you know a diabetic's mouth and lips go numb when they're coming out of a low blood sugar episode? Did you know high blood sugar makes a diabetic tired and really cranky? Did you know the first thing to go when the blood sugar is dropping is motor skills? Do you want to know when I learned that? At Disneyland. On my honeymoon. We'd been married a few months before going on our honeymoon and besides teaching me to give him insulin shots so I wouldn't be squeamish about it, I didn't know much about diabetes. I figured he'd lived with it for 10 years, he knew what to do. Ha. He told me he needed to eat. I asked if he needed to eat immediately or i Continue reading >>