Dating & Diabetes: 10 Things You Need To Know
You’re out on a first date. You are kinda digging this person. You’ve had a great time together. But, instead of wondering whether to lean in for the goodnight kiss, hug, or the awkward pat on the back, you’re busy thinking about when and how you should disclose that you have diabetes. Or, maybe you are just wondering if you should do it at all. Or maybe your sugar is low and you have no choice but to explain why you sound like you are not making any sense. But, you hesitate. You wouldn’t want to scare off your new potential life partner, would you? Diabetes is 24/7. As much as it would be lovely to take some time off for date night, it isn’t going to happen. It is the annoying third wheel. Get used to it. Diabetes isn’t WHO you are, but it sure as heck is a decent sized chunk of you, and it should never be a taboo topic. The more uncomfortable you are with your diabetes, the more uncomfortable your date will be with it. Asking questions like, “Is this too weird for you?” or better yet, “Can you handle dating someone with a disease?” is not going to put anyone at ease. Anyone stressing about disclosing his or her diabetes, take heart – although there is no set rule book for sharing your diabetic life for the first time with a potential love connection, there are some tips you can follow to ensure a smooth transition from “It’s a pleasure to meet you” to “I have diabetes.” Here are 10’s DO’s for Diabetic Dating: Don’t feel like you have to tell your date at a certain time or after a certain number of dates. Instead, tell him or her when it feels right. That means you don’t need to reveal it during introductions or even on your first date, but the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. The biggest concern most people with diabetes Continue reading >>
This Is What It’s Like To Date When You Have An ‘invisible’ Disease
This year, I celebrated my 10-year anniversary with type 1 diabetes. It’s a lifelong condition that requires insulin treatment and wearing a pump on my hip or stomach. It's led to some humorous misunderstandings over the past decade—like when I tell people, “Yeah, I’m high right now,” and I really mean that I have high blood sugar. (Funny, right?) Here’s the thing: You wouldn’t know I was “sick” by looking at me. So when it comes to dating, I like to tell potential BFs about my diabetes early to minimize their surprise (and my anxiety over it, too). When I whip out a lancet (a tiny device I use to prick my finger for blood sugar tests) during a candlelit dinner, I like to offer a simple explanation to my date. I’ve come to find that most often, he’s curious to hear about it. That being said, I haven’t always been so confident. Case in point: my first date. I was a freshman in high school, and a senior I had a crush on asked me to dinner. He knew I was diabetic, but when my sweet potato enchiladas arrived, I didn’t check my blood sugar or take any insulin because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of him. My blood sugar ended up getting super high, and I got really tired, headache-y, and just felt totally out of it. Needless to say, that date didn't go well. But experiences like this one made me realize that my wellbeing trumps feeling cool. That prompted me to be more open with guys I dated. So two years ago, when I found myself in a scary situation, I did what I needed to do. I was sleeping over at a guy’s place, and my blood sugar dipped dangerously low at 2 a.m. I nearly fell off of his bed because I was so shaky. When I checked, I was at 35 mg/dL (to put that in perspective, my normal blood sugar range is 90 to 150mg/dL). It was such Continue reading >>
The Diabetic Dating Thing
Oh dear, I am so underqualified to write this post -- seeing as how I haven't actually dated in what, 20 years or so? (Gads, that makes me feel old). But I'm going to write it anyway, because it's an important topic and I'm curious what you all think. I realize how hard it must be. A first date... a dinner. An offer of dessert? A necessary shot, or a protruding pump, an unexpected low... Even if we don't talk about it, we feel different. Because it's invisible, yet all-consuming. Lots of people have shared their angst with me... Even star triathlete Jay Hewitt told me that he kept his diabetes hidden for eight years, because he was worried the girls who might date him would run screaming from some projected lifetime of health problems. ("I was driven to prove that I was physically fit — that diabetes was not some albatross.") The other day I got an email from a guy named Joseph asking about a decent online dating network for diabetics ages 21-40. "They have fantastic groups on MySpace for diabetics... but the oldest kids in there are like 18 :)" he writes. He read my earlier post about a service called Prescription4Love, but found it not specific enough to diabetes. I'd guess many PWDs would feel the same about a new one along the same lines called Disability Love (not to mention the wheelchair in the logo, which many of us can't relate to.) Joseph shares: "I date a lot and like any other normal 31 year old have had my share of both long and short relationships... despite very deep love I shared with some of them, NO ONE (and not even family members) can understand what a diabetic deals with except another diabetic. I have found that the few diabetics I have met that are in similar situations as I am (single, young, professional, etc) choose to hide the fact that they Continue reading >>
Diabetes Dinner Date – 7 Tips For Dating With Diabetes
We’ve all had stomachs doing metaphorical flips before a date, and people with diabetes aren’t exempt from that (sorry). Moreover, having diabetes means that before a dinner date in particular there can be more to think about, but with a little preparation there’s no reason why you can’t focus on having an amazing time. From avoiding blood sugar unfriendly food to remembering to bring your blood testing kit, we’ve got you covered with our 7 tips for dinner dating with diabetes. 1. Tell your date about your diabetes when you feel comfortable If your date doesn’t know about your diabetes, then the ball is in your court. You can tell them whenever it feels right. This doesn’t even need to be on your first date. But at some point you will have to tell them, particularly if you go on multiple dates, and doing it sooner rather than later will make it easier to test your blood or medicate (if necessary) in front of them. 2. Research the restaurant in advance Knowing which meals a restaurant serves in advance can help you out massively, particularly if you eat low carb! 3. Try not to fall off the wagon If you’re having a great time with your date, eating healthily can drift from your mind, but try not to completely fall off the wagon by overindulging in less-than-healthy foods. A mild slip isn’t the end of the world, however. 4. Don’t hide blood testing or medication It’s a natural impulse for some to want to test their blood or take medication in private on a date. If this is more comfortable for you then that’s fine. But it is nothing to be embarrassed by, and the sooner you test your blood in front of your date the sooner they will see how comfortable you are with your diabetes. 5. Always bring a hypo treatment What with making sure you look delightfu Continue reading >>
When You Love A Woman With Type 1 Diabetes
I know a lot of women with Type 1 diabetes. Some are friends, colleagues, peers and some are women, young and old, whose paths have crossed with mine at different times for different reasons. And even though each and every one of us are different in the way we view, experience and react to our Type 1 diabetes, I typically find that, when we first discover we are both meandering the snaking female Type 1 diabetes footpath, there is a collective knowing, a camaraderie that instantly bonds our lives in an inquisitive way. Often, we will immediately begin to chat like old friends and many times, we will openly begin to share intimate details with each other. We talk about the effect of our diabetes on our careers, our health, our loved ones, spouses, families and friends. For me, it’s emotionally comforting to connect with someone who really and truly gets what I’m going through. Trust me when I say that the emotional side of diabetes is a huge piece of the puzzle and if it is not taken into consideration, it can unravel all well laid diabetes plans. So if you love a woman with Type 1diabetes, maybe this blog will give you a little something to consider. Or maybe you already know everything. That being said…. Women With Type 1 Diabetes and Sexual Intimacy Ever try to enjoy sex with Type 1 diabetes while worrying about your blood sugar dropping or soaring? How about having your medical devices front and center on your body? And because of the cost, and inconvenience I might add, of a device being knocked off, I always have to consider where my devices are on my body to help avoid that scenario. And even after marriage to a man who says he doesn’t care about my devices, the thought that I will look “medicinal” to him creates vulnerability in me that I don’t like Continue reading >>
What To Expect When Dating A Person With Type 1 Diabetes
Type 1 diabetes is an illness which is not easy to manage and it influences practically everything in life. When someone starts dating a person with type 1 diabetes, there might be some things that are good to know. Firstly, you should know the basics of type 1 diabetes. The internet has tons of very good information available. Here is a nice fact sheet about type 1 diabetes from Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). The symptoms of hypos and hypers differ amongst diabetics Now that you know the cold facts, you should know that every person with type 1 diabetes is unique. Exercise raises someone’s BG levels, whereas others have to drink sugary drinks to avoid going low. Different diabetics experience low or high blood glucose levels differently. One might get angry or anxious when approaching a low BG, whereas some just go pale and shaky. It gets worse at the grocery store if one has a hypo standing in line with a chocolate bar in hand. They would just want to pay for the candy bar so they can eat it but the queue just won’t MOVE! That for e.g. is when I feel a bit aggressive but I have learned to just eat the candy bar while standing there and pay for the wrap. Eventually you’ll probably learn to see when your significant other is acting “like in a hypo”. However, you might want to avoid suggesting a blood glucose measurement. Nothing feels as frustrating when someone invalidates a type 1 diabetic’s negative emotions by suggesting ”It’s only your diabetes doing its tricks”. I would think it is something like telling an angry woman “it’s just your hormones talking”. Tread carefully here. At high BG levels the most common symptoms are fatigue and frequent need for urination, but there are differences here too. For the first few years since Continue reading >>
Diabetes & Dating: To Date Or Not To Date
A question we get asked all the time: Should I date someone if I have diabetes? or Should I date someone who has diabetes? Take a look at these Diabetes & Relationship stats: Relationships are tough in this day and age. With approximately 60 percent of all marriages ending in divorce, does diabetes stack the deck against you in a committed, long-term relationship? When Dennis contacted The Diabetes Council last week, he was concerned that dating Susan with Type 1 diabetes may not a good idea. He didn’t know if he could handle her having a low blood sugar during their time together, and he worried that his own fear of needles would make him too squeamish to deal with the day-to-day aspects of diabetes care. Dennis and Susan have only been out on three dates. Dennis enjoyed his time with Susan, and wanted to see if they could have a future together. However, it was at the end of the third date when Susan informed Dennis about her diabetes. Dennis had been at a loss for words since finding out about Susan’s diagnosis. He was ashamed to say that he had not called her in three days. So what kind of advice should we give Dennis? Although we may not be in the position to give him an answer as to whether or not he should date Susan, what kind of relationship advice might be helpful in this situation? For starters, if Dennis wants to pursue a future relationship with Susan, he should ask himself just how much he cares about her, and whether or not he thinks that he is capable of supporting someone with diabetes through the long haul of life. If the answer is yes, then a diagnosis of diabetes should not preclude Dennis from pursuing a relationship with Susan. If the answer is no, then Susan is better off without Dennis. As a person with diabetes, Susan will need someone who i Continue reading >>
What Is It Like Dating A Type 1 Diabetic Man?
I've not dated another T1 diabetic, but I was diagnosed with T1 at 13, so I've had a variety of relationships. Of course dating a T1 isn't the same as dating people without. We have lots of specific needs. Those needs can be overwhelming to someone without any first hand experience. However, diabetes is part of you and a constant thing in your life. There are ups and downs (far beyond blood glucose readings) and it can seem really scary to those lucky enough not to be experiencing it themselves or to someone they love. When a relationship is still in early days, they need to know what to do should you show symptoms of a low or high, but they also don't need to step in to learn all of the ins and outs. There will be times that your diabetes might call for a slight change in plans, and if they take issue with that they don't deserve to be in your life. Don't try to hide your diabetes from anyone. It's not in any way your fault or a reflection on you as a person. Let dates ask questions if they want to. People are generally very uninformed. A bit of education can do wonders. Be matter of fact with them. Remind them that you take care of yourself, and that it isn't like they'll need to do much other than grabbing you a sugary drink or a low every now and then - unless, of course, they want to take a more active role as the relationship progresses! I have experienced bad reactions from people when they find out I'm T1. It hurts, but eventually you know that you're far better off without them. It's an absolute shit reason for someone to treat you badly. THAT is a reflection on their overall character. My partner and I have been together for 2.5 years and he chooses to be very involved with my care. He doesn't miss doctors appointments, he knows how to take a BG reading and gi Continue reading >>
Love In The Time Of Diabetes
Dating is tricky. Dating with diabetes is trickier. I hate dating. Okay, let me back up. I love dating. I love getting dressed up, I love the nerves of waiting for my date to show up, I love all that. But relationships have always been a problem for me because I’m a diabetic. Okay, let me back up. It’s not just because I’m diabetic, but I might as well blame it on something, right? Besides, being T1 adds a layer of awkwardness to a process that already seems laden with enough awkwardness landmines. The only reason my first boyfriend in college knew I was diabetic was because he saw my pump. In fact, I didn’t even tell him; my roommate did (Thanks, roomie!). Everyone has things that they don’t necessarily want to tell on the first date; sometimes you need to get comfortable with a person before you want to tell something so personal. You don’t want to tell them at the beginning, but if you wait too long, it only makes things worse. You try to wait for the right moment, but, alas, there’s no such thing. But here’s the thing….people already have to deal with so many other quirky parts of me. I laugh at everything, I work ridiculous hours, and I am a smidge high-maintenance. Being diabetic isn’t a personality trait or anything that I can even control, but it’s still a big part of my life, and if a guy becomes a big part of my life, then it becomes a part of his life, too. I feel as though I’m asking him to take on more than what he signed up for. I hear unconfirmed rumors that a healthy romantic relationship can actually make having diabetes easier. One of my friends with diabetes has been dating a guy for 2 years who knows she’s a diabetic. She told me that of all the people in her life, there are only 2 people who she can stand getting on her cas Continue reading >>
Dating And Diabetes
Dating with diabetes is no different than dating without it Whether you find dating fun or whether it sends your nerves into a flurry, diabetes is one extra thing you may need to think about when dating but all in all it shouldn't get in the way. We run through some of things you may want to consider when making the most of your dating experience with diabetes. When do you tell your date about your diabetes? When you decide to tell your date about your diabetes will be partly influenced by your personal preference and may be influenced by your medication regime. If youre on insulin, or otherwise susceptible to hypoglycemia , its a good idea to let your date know about your diabetes early on. If youre on another medication routine then you may have more time and freedom to choose the right moment. If you inject then its a good idea to explain your need to inject at a convenient time as some people may be squeamish about needles. It may take your date a little time to get used to the idea at first but in most cases your partner will get accommodated with your injection regimes. Wed like to say, no, it doesnt matter but it can depend on how you manage diabetes and your dates own feelings towards your diabetes. Some people will naturally be more receptive to your diabetes than others. Its common for people with diabetes to worry about what their date will make of their diabetes, questions may include: How do I explain I have a lifelong condition? Will he/she worry about my health in the long run? Will he/she run a mile when I start to inject or they see my pump? In the most cases the worries are unfounded and youll tend to find that the more you can accept your own diabetes, the better the chances that your date will be able to. Diabetes can lead to ups and downs in sugar Continue reading >>
What It's Like Dating With Diabetes
The most important relationship in my life is with a piece of technology. It’s attached to my body 24/7 and I can not live without it. No, it’s not my cell phone – it’s my insulin pump. The hustle and bustle of Valentine’s Day has me wondering, will this relationship be my only one? I feel like diabetes is my boyfriend at this point. My testing kit is always accompanying me to dinner, it tends to hangout around my pillow at night, and I can get pretty mad at what it says…Which is the same thing as a boyfriend, right? I usually don’t stress too much over diabetes, as we all know that just causes more problems than it solves. But, I do wonder if diabetes is hindering my dating life. I was diagnosed with type 1 at the age of 21, right in the middle of college. Adding insulin shots (eventually a pump), carb counting, and finger pricking to an already self-confidence depleting dating environment was probably not the best idea, but it’s not like I did it to myself. Here I am trying to dress and act in ways that will attract my male peers, and now I have to do so while wearing a pump. Carrying it feels like a whole grocery bag worth of stuff with me at all times. I’ll admit, I often left my glucometer at home when I went out since I didn’t usually carry a purse. There was nothing more awkward than meeting up with a guy, or even friends, at the bar and then rerouting the walk home to my house so I could check my blood sugar. Talk about a buzz kill. I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal to the other person – but I felt like such an inconvenience. As I became more comfortable with my shots and carrying my supplies, I thought all of the issues would subside, but of course, I was wrong. Next awkward situation? Waking up in someone else’s house with low blood sug Continue reading >>
3 Diabetes Dating Sites – A Review
An irreverent look at online dating for those who know their way around insulin. If you have diabetes and want to find someone else who knows a thing or two about insulin, you’ve probably found that apps like Tinder, okCupid, and Grindr just aren’t the best places to message a potential beau. Here’s a list of some online dating sites for the Type 1 romantics: Diabetic Date Diabetic Date is the most traditional website for going out with someone with Type 1. Features of the site include how-to dating articles and an “advanced wink system” (similar to poking on Facebook). When you initially sign up for the site, you can enroll in the free, basic membership. However, flirtations are limited to winking at other online singles, so no chat or messaging. If you decide to pay the $6.95 monthly fee for the premium account to message a pancreatically faulty person back, you should be warned that Diabetic Date does not offer refunds, so don’t expect to see your money again. The homepage is adorned with a slideshow of corny date jokes and tips. I don’t know that I’d trust their suggestions though; apparently, a gentleman should arrive on time, not incessantly message after a date, and not discuss his favorite sex positions. Great to know, thanks. There are quite a bit of spam warnings, and account verification simply means having a valid email, so security is questionable. And though I suggest the site designers invest in a resident proofer to correct the surplus of typographical errors, Diabetic Date ranks as the Match.com for people with diabetes. Diabetes Dating Site The services that Diabetes Dating Site offers are spelled out pretty perfectly in their title, so props for being straightforward, but my immediate concern with the website was the seemingly exclusiv Continue reading >>
The Boyfriend/girlfriend Guide To Caring For Someone With Type 1
Congratulations! You’re dating someone amazing, funny, beautiful and strong, who also has Type 1. If you are feeling overwhelmed or worried, there is no need. Here are tips that can help you take care of your significant other and the essentials in diabetes care that are a must-know! Insulin! Our bodies do not make insulin. We need insulin to process food that we are eating. Therefore, we can use either the pump or injections via a pen and a needle to administer the insulin. Learn more about insulin delivery methods. Devices The monitors that are attached to our skin are not a smoking patch, a pager, or a prop! These monitors help us stay healthy. One of these monitors is a CGM, or continuous glucose monitor. This small device tracks our glucose day and night, and notifies us of highs and lows. The other monitor is an insulin pump. An insulin pump gives our body insulin throughout the day and during meals through the flexible plastic tube. Extra baggage And we aren’t talking about exes! We will usually always carry a few items with us wherever we go. These things help us get through the day healthy and safe. Here are a few things you can familiarize yourself with. Blood glucose meter, test strips, and a lancing device. In other words, the small device that shows us what our blood sugar is, the test strip that goes into the device, and the pricker that we use on our finger to get a drop of blood onto the test strip. Check out The Daily-diabetes Care Kit. Fast-acting sugar that we will take in case we have a low. This could be anything from glucose tablets (which strongly resemble SweetTarts), candy, or juice boxes. Depending on the type of bionic pancreas that we have, we either carry pens and pen needles or supplies for a pump. Daily care We might have to check our Continue reading >>
Is Diabetes A Turnoff For You?
Ive posted Better late than never' story, or should I post it in jokes? in Dating Stories. Some discussion started to unwind there about not telling you for a while about my condition. The question. When would you like to be told about? No not a turnoff. Tell them after a couple of dates only if you feel there will be more dates. why would it be a turn off? I would have no problem at all dating someone who had diabetes. No, not a turn off. But I do agree with Shelly, you should tell them after a couple of dates if you see it going further. Very good topic don't want to be immature but imma be honest that would kinda be a turn off for me. Not a turnoff to me at all. I would want to know very early in the relationship however. Only because, if she were to begin going into a diabetic coma or into insulin shock, it could be a matter of life and death for her for me to act quickly and efficiently. Same as with someone who suffers from asthma or anything else. As long as you take care of yourself and keep on top of it then no, it's not a turnoff. I agree with Shelly as to when to mention it. It's not something you need to mention immediately, but it would be nice to know after a couple dates; especially if you feel there will be more in the near future. Why would it be hard to "confess" up to. It's not a crime to confess anything about. There is no shame in being a diabetic. Why would you even suggest that it is? Do you even know anyone who is a diabetic? I apoligize for using the word confess, I didn'n mean to offend anybody and People act strangely about things they don't understand. It they don't want to be with you because of an illness like that its usually because they are uneducated about it. When they have seen family members in poor circumstances with the same illne Continue reading >>
Dating A Person With Diabetes: 8 Dos And Don’ts
For dates, my husband always proposes restaurants, but I have type 2 diabetes, so going out to dinner is hard. I need to count carbs every day, or at least ballpark carbs. If I'm not careful, my blood sugar is sure to spike, and I could go into hyperglycemia. According to the Mayo Clinic, when that happens, I may suffer from increased thirst and urination, blurry vision, headaches, and fatigue. Eventually, hyperglycemia may lead to more serious diabetes complications like confusion, abdominal pain, shortness of breath, weakness, or even coma. If I’m sick and can’t keep down food or water, someone may need to dial 911. In an effort to manage my blood sugar, I’ve gotten into sticky situations at restaurants many times. Once, I had to beg a chef to wrap one of his famous burgers in lettuce rather than in one of his gourmet honey buns. Tempting bread baskets are plunked down in front of me. Everyone assumes I want alcohol, and yes, boy, do I want alcohol — but because I need to limit my carb and sugar consumption, it’s not a good option. People with diabetes can consume alcohol with clearance from their medical team, but only certain types and in small quantities. I stay away; I’d rather eat my carbohydrates than drink them. When I dine out at a chain restaurant, I usually realize there’s nothing I can eat but salad, and I have to request the oil and vinegar decanters because, without a bottle with a label on it handy to read, I can’t gauge how sugary the dressing might be. I confuse servers by ordering steaks without the potato side. The spuds come anyway, and I try my best not to eat them. When you have diabetes, maintaining control of these types of situations can be difficult — dates can easily turn into a what-can-I-eat scramble instead of an enjoyabl Continue reading >>
