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Dating A Diabetic Guy

When You Love A Woman With Type 1 Diabetes

When You Love A Woman With Type 1 Diabetes

I know a lot of women with Type 1 diabetes. Some are friends, colleagues, peers and some are women, young and old, whose paths have crossed with mine at different times for different reasons. And even though each and every one of us are different in the way we view, experience and react to our Type 1 diabetes, I typically find that, when we first discover we are both meandering the snaking female Type 1 diabetes footpath, there is a collective knowing, a camaraderie that instantly bonds our lives in an inquisitive way. Often, we will immediately begin to chat like old friends and many times, we will openly begin to share intimate details with each other. We talk about the effect of our diabetes on our careers, our health, our loved ones, spouses, families and friends. For me, it’s emotionally comforting to connect with someone who really and truly gets what I’m going through. Trust me when I say that the emotional side of diabetes is a huge piece of the puzzle and if it is not taken into consideration, it can unravel all well laid diabetes plans. So if you love a woman with Type 1diabetes, maybe this blog will give you a little something to consider. Or maybe you already know everything. That being said…. Women With Type 1 Diabetes and Sexual Intimacy Ever try to enjoy sex with Type 1 diabetes while worrying about your blood sugar dropping or soaring? How about having your medical devices front and center on your body? And because of the cost, and inconvenience I might add, of a device being knocked off, I always have to consider where my devices are on my body to help avoid that scenario. And even after marriage to a man who says he doesn’t care about my devices, the thought that I will look “medicinal” to him creates vulnerability in me that I don’t like Continue reading >>

The Boyfriend/girlfriend Guide To Caring For Someone With Type 1

The Boyfriend/girlfriend Guide To Caring For Someone With Type 1

Congratulations! You’re dating someone amazing, funny, beautiful and strong, who also has Type 1. If you are feeling overwhelmed or worried, there is no need. Here are tips that can help you take care of your significant other and the essentials in diabetes care that are a must-know! Insulin! Our bodies do not make insulin. We need insulin to process food that we are eating. Therefore, we can use either the pump or injections via a pen and a needle to administer the insulin. Learn more about insulin delivery methods. Devices The monitors that are attached to our skin are not a smoking patch, a pager, or a prop! These monitors help us stay healthy. One of these monitors is a CGM, or continuous glucose monitor. This small device tracks our glucose day and night, and notifies us of highs and lows. The other monitor is an insulin pump. An insulin pump gives our body insulin throughout the day and during meals through the flexible plastic tube. Extra baggage And we aren’t talking about exes! We will usually always carry a few items with us wherever we go. These things help us get through the day healthy and safe. Here are a few things you can familiarize yourself with. Blood glucose meter, test strips, and a lancing device. In other words, the small device that shows us what our blood sugar is, the test strip that goes into the device, and the pricker that we use on our finger to get a drop of blood onto the test strip. Check out The Daily-diabetes Care Kit. Fast-acting sugar that we will take in case we have a low. This could be anything from glucose tablets (which strongly resemble SweetTarts), candy, or juice boxes. Depending on the type of bionic pancreas that we have, we either carry pens and pen needles or supplies for a pump. Daily care We might have to check our Continue reading >>

Dating A Person With Diabetes: 8 Dos And Don’ts

Dating A Person With Diabetes: 8 Dos And Don’ts

For dates, my husband always proposes restaurants, but I have type 2 diabetes, so going out to dinner is hard. I need to count carbs every day, or at least ballpark carbs. If I'm not careful, my blood sugar is sure to spike, and I could go into hyperglycemia. According to the Mayo Clinic, when that happens, I may suffer from increased thirst and urination, blurry vision, headaches, and fatigue. Eventually, hyperglycemia may lead to more serious diabetes complications like confusion, abdominal pain, shortness of breath, weakness, or even coma. If I’m sick and can’t keep down food or water, someone may need to dial 911. In an effort to manage my blood sugar, I’ve gotten into sticky situations at restaurants many times. Once, I had to beg a chef to wrap one of his famous burgers in lettuce rather than in one of his gourmet honey buns. Tempting bread baskets are plunked down in front of me. Everyone assumes I want alcohol, and yes, boy, do I want alcohol — but because I need to limit my carb and sugar consumption, it’s not a good option. People with diabetes can consume alcohol with clearance from their medical team, but only certain types and in small quantities. I stay away; I’d rather eat my carbohydrates than drink them. When I dine out at a chain restaurant, I usually realize there’s nothing I can eat but salad, and I have to request the oil and vinegar decanters because, without a bottle with a label on it handy to read, I can’t gauge how sugary the dressing might be. I confuse servers by ordering steaks without the potato side. The spuds come anyway, and I try my best not to eat them. When you have diabetes, maintaining control of these types of situations can be difficult — dates can easily turn into a what-can-I-eat scramble instead of an enjoyabl Continue reading >>

How Type 1 Diabetes Affects My Relationship

How Type 1 Diabetes Affects My Relationship

My 6 year wedding anniversary is next Sunday, June 11th. In the spirit of my upcoming anniversary, I decided to write about how Type 1 has affected my relationship over the years. Living with Type 1 Diabetes isn’t easy! But, when you add another person into the mix, it can be tricky. My husband has put up with a lot over the years, so I applaud him for that! Before We Met… After me and my ex-boyfriend broke up (we were together for 3 years) I decided to stay single for a while. Even the thought of trying to explain Type 1 to another person was very unappealing! My ex understood everything about Type 1, and he was usually really good about it. It just didn’t seem worth it at the time to try and explain my disease all over again. Diabetes did affect my past relationship somewhat, so I was really hesitant to get seriously involved with anyone else. “Diabetes? My Grandma has that.” I met my husband, Chris, when I was 22. I had no intention of dating anyone at the time. But, it’s funny how things work out! I ended up getting his phone number off of my friend, and I asked him out. On our first date, we really seemed to hit it off. I really liked him, so I decided to give the relationship a chance. After going on a few dates, and not mentioning Diabetes at all, I knew I had to bring it up. I had no clue what to say, and I was worried about what he would think. So, one night I called him on the phone and I decided it was the right time to tell him. I can’t remember how I brought it up but I said, “I have Type 1 Diabetes, and I am on an insulin pump.” Right after that he said, “My Grandma has Diabetes too.” Umm…it took all of my willpower not to freak out. LOL I tried to keep my cool, but all I wanted to do was hang up the phone! I just said, “Oh…okay Continue reading >>

The Challenges Of Dating A Diabetic

The Challenges Of Dating A Diabetic

While going on a date is considered as a romantic event, there are certain instances where it may offer certain challenges. For a person dating with a diabetic, the challenge is sometimes taken to a whole new level. The challenge is not something that one can do something about. Sometimes it is just something that takes a lot more understanding and a dose of sensitivity. Here are some of the possible challenges that a person may face when it comes to dating someone with diabetes. Food Choices For most people, a idea for a romantic date includes going to a favorite restaurant or hang out to eat, drink and get to know each other more intimately. This is actually the typical date that most people wish for and expect. But when it comes to dating someone with diabetes, this may not always be what one may expect. One of the reasons is because of the food. Yes, diabetes is a condition where diet is very important. This includes a wide variety of restaurant food choices to avoid. This can sometimes mean going to your favorite restaurant may be out of the question. Diabetics sometimes need a special diet and choice of food that may not always be available in all restaurants. In such cases, you might need to do some research on what restaurants in the area offer a food selection ideal for diabetics. The challenge in this case in taking time to research and ask around about restaurants in the area ideal to take a person with diabetes on a date. Regular Sugar Monitoring One of the things that one would usually encounter during a date with a person with diabetes is regular sugar monitoring. Many diabetics require monitoring or keeping track of their blood sugar levels to ensure that they maintain it at levels that won’t cause them any problems. Doing so would sometimes require doi Continue reading >>

This Is What It’s Like To Date When You Have An ‘invisible’ Disease

This Is What It’s Like To Date When You Have An ‘invisible’ Disease

This year, I celebrated my 10-year anniversary with type 1 diabetes. It’s a lifelong condition that requires insulin treatment and wearing a pump on my hip or stomach. It's led to some humorous misunderstandings over the past decade—like when I tell people, “Yeah, I’m high right now,” and I really mean that I have high blood sugar. (Funny, right?) Here’s the thing: You wouldn’t know I was “sick” by looking at me. So when it comes to dating, I like to tell potential BFs about my diabetes early to minimize their surprise (and my anxiety over it, too). When I whip out a lancet (a tiny device I use to prick my finger for blood sugar tests) during a candlelit dinner, I like to offer a simple explanation to my date. I’ve come to find that most often, he’s curious to hear about it. That being said, I haven’t always been so confident. Case in point: my first date. I was a freshman in high school, and a senior I had a crush on asked me to dinner. He knew I was diabetic, but when my sweet potato enchiladas arrived, I didn’t check my blood sugar or take any insulin because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of him. My blood sugar ended up getting super high, and I got really tired, headache-y, and just felt totally out of it. Needless to say, that date didn't go well. But experiences like this one made me realize that my wellbeing trumps feeling cool. That prompted me to be more open with guys I dated. So two years ago, when I found myself in a scary situation, I did what I needed to do. I was sleeping over at a guy’s place, and my blood sugar dipped dangerously low at 2 a.m. I nearly fell off of his bed because I was so shaky. When I checked, I was at 35 mg/dL (to put that in perspective, my normal blood sugar range is 90 to 150mg/dL). It was such Continue reading >>

Dating A Diabetic

Dating A Diabetic

Everyone brings certain things into a relationship. You bring your lessons, your experiences, and your expectations. You bring emotional issues from your past, but also an excitement and hope for the future. You bring your vulnerability and your best self. But having diabetes means that you bring that too. I’m sure everyone is different when it comes to when they bring up the fact they have diabetes. For me, if the guy doesn’t already know, the topic comes up pretty quickly. “What do you do?” is followed by a description of my current job followed by “and I write a blog.” That statement is naturally followed by “what do you blog about?” Whether I like it or not, diabetes is a big part of my life and requires a lot of attention. It’s important that whoever I am dating understands what it means to have and manage diabetes, and the sooner they know that, the better. So I decided to put together a short list, 6 tips for dating this diabetic. As all diabetics deal with their diabetes differently, I cannot generalize this list to all type 1 diabetics. Maybe these tips apply to you, but maybe they don’t. But if you do ever find yourself dating a T1D, it might help to keep these in mind. Tips for Dating A Diabetic From a Diabetic: 1. Don’t assume I can’t eat something with sugar in it. I appreciate the concern, but let me tell you what I can and cannot eat. If you’re not sure, you can ask me. However, I prefer “Can you eat that?” to “You can’t eat that, right?” And if I say no to that dessert or piece of pizza, it doesn’t always have to do with my diabetes. There are other reasons I turn down food, you know, because I don’t like it or I’m trying to watch my girlish figure. 2. I know part of dating is finding common ground, but if I tell Continue reading >>

My New Boyfriend Sufferers From Type 1 Diabetes, What Do I Need To Know?

My New Boyfriend Sufferers From Type 1 Diabetes, What Do I Need To Know?

Guest over a year ago Hi, my boyfriend of 9 months has type 1 diabetes as well. I know a little about it, but mostly I just feel in the dark about his medical life. I would also like to learn more about it, because I know it is a part of his life, and he is a part of my life. I feel like it would be a burden to ask him, but I would like to have just as much of an understanding of it as he does, so I can really understand how it impacts his life. I know that diabetics can have seizures if they get too low, and that if they do have a seizure, you should put sugar or icing on their gums, as it is the fastest way for their bodies to absorb sugar. If you are dating a diabetic, you should probably know this, in case you are alone together, and something happens. I was wondering if something that happens to my boyfriend is normal...when he gets low, he loses all of his sex drive. is this normal for diabetics? to be a little more informative: they have to inject with insulin when theyre blood sugar is too high. it helps break down the glucose. when the blood sugar is low, they need to eat. my boyfriend suffers from type 1 diabetes as well. usually i carry a bag or 2 of skittles in case he gets low. thats what he likes. starbursts work well too. try to stay away from chocolate. although it has sugar, it has fat which consumes the sugar so it doesnt work as well. i usually try to be a little pushy with him checking his sugar with a meter. i dont know how much you know about it, but the meter is the little thing that records and tells you how high your sugar is. theyre supposed to check pretty often and my boyfriends in the stage where he likes to ignore that he has it. and he gets very upset and angry when hes low or high (referring to sugar) so i know it annoys him, but its for Continue reading >>

Dating + Diabetes = Dilemma?

Dating + Diabetes = Dilemma?

Diabetes is not an obvious illness if you don’t want it to be. I’ve come to learn that you can do your injections every single day in front of someone and they just won’t notice. The places I find myself stabbing my limbs makes me chuckle sometimes… on the tube, at the bus stop, in a club (that did raise a few eyebrows). I’m the kinda girl that doesn’t care at all; diabetes is a common enough thing, and if you can’t take me with diabetes then there ain’t much chance of us getting along! But meeting new people – I’m talking about dating – and getting to the stage where you want to introduce them to this crazy world can be tricky. Confident as I am, whipping out my Novorapid across a candle-lit dinner table can kind of kill the mood if the poor innocent bloke isn’t expecting it. But as I’m yet to meet the man of my dreams (sigh), it’s something I have to deal with – some months more often than others! Join me on this journey… you’ve been on a couple of dates, you’ve so far either not been on one that involved food or you’ve dodged off to the toilet just to save the effort of inquisition. You’re thinking this is a guy you’re kind of going to see a little bit more… so you casually drop it into conversation at some point so they at least have heard the word “diabetes” right? I failed to do this recently; for some reason I had it in my head that the guy in question knew I had Type 1. So there we are, at the dinner table, and I say in the jokey, “witty” manner that I’m so good at, “I’m just going to take some drugs”. Out comes my very official looking pen and I happily start to dial up. The look of horror spreading across said fella’s face as I obliviously counted my carbs and figured out my dosage was a picture. Br Continue reading >>

What Is It Like Dating A Type 1 Diabetic Man?

What Is It Like Dating A Type 1 Diabetic Man?

I've not dated another T1 diabetic, but I was diagnosed with T1 at 13, so I've had a variety of relationships. Of course dating a T1 isn't the same as dating people without. We have lots of specific needs. Those needs can be overwhelming to someone without any first hand experience. However, diabetes is part of you and a constant thing in your life. There are ups and downs (far beyond blood glucose readings) and it can seem really scary to those lucky enough not to be experiencing it themselves or to someone they love. When a relationship is still in early days, they need to know what to do should you show symptoms of a low or high, but they also don't need to step in to learn all of the ins and outs. There will be times that your diabetes might call for a slight change in plans, and if they take issue with that they don't deserve to be in your life. Don't try to hide your diabetes from anyone. It's not in any way your fault or a reflection on you as a person. Let dates ask questions if they want to. People are generally very uninformed. A bit of education can do wonders. Be matter of fact with them. Remind them that you take care of yourself, and that it isn't like they'll need to do much other than grabbing you a sugary drink or a low every now and then - unless, of course, they want to take a more active role as the relationship progresses! I have experienced bad reactions from people when they find out I'm T1. It hurts, but eventually you know that you're far better off without them. It's an absolute shit reason for someone to treat you badly. THAT is a reflection on their overall character. My partner and I have been together for 2.5 years and he chooses to be very involved with my care. He doesn't miss doctors appointments, he knows how to take a BG reading and gi Continue reading >>

Dating A Person With Type 1 Diabetes

Dating A Person With Type 1 Diabetes

Dating a person with type 1 diabetes brings some very unique challenges to any relationship. Of course, simply being the diabetic and dating can be difficult for some, but this article is for those non-diabetics who find themselves attracted to someone who just happens to also live with this disease. I use the word “dating” purposefully, to mark a relationship that is new or in its first few years rather than a relationship that has progressed to “living together” or marriage. The word “dating” implies that you, as the non-diabetic, are in the early stages of learning about your partner’s diabetes. While there are many experiences, stories, and perspectives, a woman named Heidi shares her experience in a 2-year relationship with a man who lived with type 1 diabetes. Her experience is one of many. Be sure to read our “Non-Diabetics Guide to Helping Loved Ones with Diabetes,” too. Ginger: When you first began dating, did you know about his type 1 diabetes from the start or was it introduced at some point? Heidi: I knew from the very first date. We were up too late talking like teenagers and he realized his blood was low. He excused himself to get a glass of milk and a snack. I had known him as a friend for an entire year prior. I did not know. I don’t think he would have told me right away, but the circumstances brought it to light early on. Ginger: When you learned about his diabetes, how did you feel? Did it change anything about how you perceived him in a negative or positive way? Heidi: I felt embarrassed that I did not know or recognize the signs that his blood sugar was low. I asked him if I should have noticed. The knowledge did not change how I felt emotionally. It did make me want to be educated. Ginger: Was he open to talking about and teachi Continue reading >>

Whatever You Do, Don’t Marry A Sick Man

Whatever You Do, Don’t Marry A Sick Man

My dad is a pianist, but one of his fingers doesn’t work. It’s the middle finger on his left hand. I guess he can’t really flip anyone off with that one now. It’s the diabetes, of course. The same thing that paralyzed his stomach. And this is a man who takes meticulous care of himself. Who knows all the research. Who wrestles ferociously for control as his body cleverly eludes him again and again. As his body works constantly towards destroying itself. Disease is so strange. It’s like, don’t you want to stay alive, body? Isn’t that supposed to be the only thing you want? Why can’t we agree on this one? I am beginning to prepare to lead high holidays services, the way I do every year. I take the train out to NJ to meet with the rabbi I work with, and we stand on the bima in the empty sanctuary and make our way through the fat holiday prayerbook, practicing, arguing over the details, bursting into occasional songs from Fiddler on the Roof (yes, really). We have been known to dance around. We find each other funny. We sing in harmony sometimes and we grin the whole time. On the train, on the way to our meetings, I get this familiar urge to read old journals. The same thing happens at this time every year. The high holidays, Rosh Hashanah (our new year) and Yom Kippur (our time of repentance and renewal), are a soul-searching, gut-wrenching, emotionally complex time. And I think the approach of autumn contributes to their drama. There’s this feeling of near-death that glides up in the smell of the foliage in the park. That is hanging behind the humidity. Things will die again, there’s an end in sight, and it will happen whether or not you are ready. The summer is inevitably faster than I expected. I’m whisked through it, and everything restarts again. Continue reading >>

11 Things Not To Say To Someone With Type 1 Diabetes

11 Things Not To Say To Someone With Type 1 Diabetes

1. There is no "mild form" of diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is when the body doesn't produce any insulin, while type 2 diabetes is when the body doesn't make enough insulin or the insulin it does make doesn't work properly. There's a myth that type 2 is the milder form – but it's false. "It is a commonly held belief that type 2 is the mild form and less serious than type 1 diabetes. This is in fact not true, as both type 1 and 2 diabetes can lead to serious health problems such as blindness, amputation, kidney disease, heart disease, and stroke, if not managed well. "Type 1 diabetes can be sudden onset, where a person may become quite unwell very quickly, whereas type 2 diabetes can go undetected for a number of years. Both types of diabetes need to be treated as soon as possible to avoid diabetes-related complications." – Deepa Khatri, clinical adviser, Diabetes UK 2. You don't get it from "eating too much sugar". "I didn't get it from eating too much sugar. There's nothing I can't eat or drink. And type 1 and type 2 are two completely different conditions. There's two types, I'm talking about type 1, the autoimmune condition. There's nothing I did to get it, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it, and it's not contagious. "No, it's not because I ate too much sugar as a kid, and yes, I can still eat that bit of cake. I can eat anything I want, and I can do pretty much what I want when I want to do it – my T1 doesn't hold me back in any way. It's a lot more than just taking a couple of insulin injections though – there's a lot more to it." – Connor McHarg 3. And it's a serious illness. "One of my major frustrations is that people tend not to view diabetes as a 'serious' illness and will go as far to say that it's self-inflicted due to certain lifestyle ch Continue reading >>

If You Meet Someone With Type 1 Diabetes, This Is What You Should Know

If You Meet Someone With Type 1 Diabetes, This Is What You Should Know

Picture this. He’s just started his freshman year in college. He is out every night, meeting new friends by the minute. He is young, bright-eyed, kind-hearted, a dreamer, an optimist. Life is full of freedom and free of responsibility. It’s fun, it’s chaotic, it’s being 19. And then he wakes up one morning and he knows something isn’t right. He’s weak and beyond exhausted. He tries to brush it aside and goes about his days until he starts losing weight and the insatiable thirst kicks in. Soon it’s impossible to ignore. He walks in to a doctor’s appointment free and he leaves with a monster that he will have to carry with him for the rest of his life. For reasons no one fully understands, his immune system has attacked the beta cells in his pancreas and this vital organ has stopped producing life-saving insulin. He has done nothing wrong. He is young, fit and the picture of health but his body has failed him. This monster is called type 1 diabetes (T1D). And he is my big brother, my hero. On that day he was just one of hundreds of children, young adults and adults that had to take on that very same monster. He was shattered, lost, facing a life with an unforgiving and terrifying illness. He was no longer just 19. Instead of having the world at his feet he had a huge burden on his shoulders. His everyday freedom ripped from him. None of us knew where to turn next. That day he lost a free-spirited part of himself that I fear will never return, but he also found within him a strength, determination and inspiring nature more powerful then ever before. Now, 14 years on, he still fights hard to dream and to stay optimistic. He mentors teenagers newly diagnosed with T1D, and he constantly shows his two little boys what it means to be courageous. He has to wake u Continue reading >>

The Diabetic Dating Thing

The Diabetic Dating Thing

Oh dear, I am so underqualified to write this post -- seeing as how I haven't actually dated in what, 20 years or so? (Gads, that makes me feel old). But I'm going to write it anyway, because it's an important topic and I'm curious what you all think. I realize how hard it must be. A first date... a dinner. An offer of dessert? A necessary shot, or a protruding pump, an unexpected low... Even if we don't talk about it, we feel different. Because it's invisible, yet all-consuming. Lots of people have shared their angst with me... Even star triathlete Jay Hewitt told me that he kept his diabetes hidden for eight years, because he was worried the girls who might date him would run screaming from some projected lifetime of health problems. ("I was driven to prove that I was physically fit — that diabetes was not some albatross.") The other day I got an email from a guy named Joseph asking about a decent online dating network for diabetics ages 21-40. "They have fantastic groups on MySpace for diabetics... but the oldest kids in there are like 18 :)" he writes. He read my earlier post about a service called Prescription4Love, but found it not specific enough to diabetes. I'd guess many PWDs would feel the same about a new one along the same lines called Disability Love (not to mention the wheelchair in the logo, which many of us can't relate to.) Joseph shares: "I date a lot and like any other normal 31 year old have had my share of both long and short relationships... despite very deep love I shared with some of them, NO ONE (and not even family members) can understand what a diabetic deals with except another diabetic. I have found that the few diabetics I have met that are in similar situations as I am (single, young, professional, etc) choose to hide the fact that they Continue reading >>

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